I Saw The TV Glow
Hello world, since I watch a lot of movies, I’ve decided to start sharing my thoughts on the ones I’ve recently enjoyed, starting with this one. If you liked this movie or have any recommendations for me, feel free to reach out. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
I Saw the TV Glow is a movie to be felt, not seen. Even as I attempt to write about it, the mere effort of putting words to my feelings makes my thoughts collapse from many into a murky, singular one. Maybe the wrong one. Maybe one I don’t entirely understand. That’s the vibe of the movie.
Watching this movie, I relived remote memories from childhood. The movie is much more, though. I can’t say I relate to the gender conflicts it explores, but I get the crisis of identity. I could empathize with the parts I couldn’t directly relate to, and I related to most of them. Choosing who you want to be in a limitless world is a weird trip. The world feels so vast and uncertain that you can end up feeling lost, even indifferent, but still stuck with these constant reminders to define yourself. And in all that, what if you can’t trust what you think you know about yourself? What if you don’t trust you? Internal experiences that cannot be settled by the external world. The more the movie presses on the question of who you are, the more unsettling it becomes, and in a world so vast and indifferent, the idea of never really knowing how to find yourself feels all the more isolating.
That deep yearning to experience is most potent in childhood, and TV was the perfect escape. Watching kids like you, or better yet slightly older ones, living dangerous, heroic, and mysterious lives while you were stuck in the mundane reality of sleepy middle-class life. It was a life you could never have but longed to escape into—a teen’s fantasy that gets negated, almost turned into a joke, as the realities of growing up and everyday life kick in. I find it tragic. It’s like a dream dies.
Loneliness growing up can either depress you or gift you with a vivid imagination. Sometimes both. A lonely childhood sobers you for life. The comfort of melting into the TV late into the night. And with every new show, I remember how I’d get a fresh idea, a new possibility of who I wanted to be in the world. It was exciting. Every show and every movie unlocked a new identity I could try on.
The movie takes this feeling from childlike curiosity to a satisfying kind of anxiety, then escalates into a full-blown crisis of identity. The last few moments, in particular, felt heavy. I felt sorry.
Now and then, it hits me how so many people live lives full of wishes, dreams, and talent, but none of it is realized. I don’t really care much for people who never dream and go on to live normal lives. There’s no crisis in that. But those who dream and never achieve those dreams, it’s tragic. Worse still are the ones who don’t even accept what they desire or live in a haze, never fully able to grasp their dreams, let alone make them a reality.
Overall, I Saw the TV Glow is a hazy, vibey, surreal, and sentimental coming-of-age movie about gender and identity. You should watch this movie because you never know what a movie might reveal about you—and this one just might, too.